excitable puppy and possible murder.

roscoe woke me up around 6:30 this morning by rustling around in his cage... he never yaps, just rustles and stares which is usually enough to wake me up. took him outside... where he proceeded to stare at me for no apparent reason for about 15 minutes. fed him breakfast... during which he proceeded to stare at me for no apparent reason for about 15 minutes while chewing. i got back into bed hoping i would get a touch more sleep figuring he would probably just settle in and sleep again (like he usually does in the mornings) but not on this morning. he tore into his toys and lolloped around the apartment in full puppy force - i therefore had to sleepily follow him around the apartment because i made the mistake two nights ago of not following him from room to room, thinking it was ok to change and then go into the living room after he had gone in there on his own. by the time i had put my pajamas on and walked across the apartment, he had eaten a sizeable amount of brown oil paint. awesome. convinced he was going to start convulsing and then die, i googled pet posion control and surprisingly found a 1-800 number to call (i guess a lot of people have pets that retardedly ingest dangerous items). i phoned them straight away expecting a help line and a 5 minute conversation... what i got was an automated message that stated i wouldn't be able to speak to anyone without first paying 60 dollars. eff that... i called the emergency vet down the street who told me... get this... i wouldn't be able to speak with them until i called the posion control hotline and paid the 60 dollars. eff that also... i googled that shit and found out that if you burn burn burn toast it acts the same was as activated charcoal which leeches the toxins out of the tummy. he munched it happily and i stayed up on puppy vigil until about 2. he was fine, i was exhausted. that was pretty much the first real "dog mom" lesson i've learned - my dog can't be trusted and will eat anything he comes across. anything (i found a small piece of copper tubing in his mouth this morning... seriously, where the hell did that come from...)

anywho, i brought roscoe over to grandma janet day camp so i could get to new haven to move eva out of her old classroom into her new one at her new school. the trip was quick but while moving stuff out we got yelled at by a particularly choade like janitor who accused me of ruining his floors with my "scuffling feet." we made our way over to the new school where we started to unpack the millions of boxes of supplies they left her. eva opened her first box and it was books... i open my first box and it was the personal effects of last year's teacher... including photos, keys, keepsakes... it was bizarre. i am convinced she is dead or committed some sort of crime she needed to escape from and that is why she left everything behind. eva is convinced i am crazy. however, here is a photo of the box of the bizzare personal effects left behind that started my suspicions:

after going through the box these are the pieces of evidences i believe prove foul play in some capacity

items include:
1. saline solution
2. unknown odorless liquid in glass vile
3. head of a doll with gouges in face
4. ignore the paintbrush.

i secretly want to solve crimes. no really. i want to like dust for finger prints and like pin stuff on a cork-board and connect things with red string, and sit in a dark car and eat cheetos while on a stake out. i think i'd be good at most of it - except for being brooding and intense. i am mostly just uncontrollably excited and embarrassingly enthusiastic. i'd probably show up at forensics and chirp "did you run the splatter analysis?! did ya? did ya? did ya? splatter analysis is awesome, isn't it. can i play with your analysis meter? please?" i don't know if they even use a meter for splatter analysis... regardless... solving crimes... awesome.

time for sleep now and a bit of interwebz surfing. after that going to settle in to watch "the color of money" paul newman is awesome... i know someone who is more awesome though.